What If Being Fat-Single-Broke Isn’t Your Fault?
You have a simple, heartfelt goal to change something about yourself that’s been bugging you for a long time.
You might be fat, single, or broke. You might have a phobia that seems unreasonable; it certainly feels unreasonable when it rears its ferocious head. Or it may be something entirely different.
Whatever it is, you’re struggling with something that you’ve tried hard to change. Nothing seems to work; and if it does, it doesn’t stick for long.
You’re not alone.
Everyone has something they fret about, whether it’s reasonable or not.
Whatever yours is, you want to be done with it — now!
So you keep trying. You’ve read several self-help books, the ones that say they have The Answer. You’ve meditated and exercised, like they told you to do. Maybe you’ve changed your eating habits. Maybe you’ve stopped going to those places that ‘help’ you stay in the status quo. Arrgh!
You’ve almost lost hope, but you keep battling on.
You — and everyone else — want to change your status quo to something that easily aligns with your hopes and dreams, but it’s just not happening.
What if it isn’t your fault?
What if there is some underlying spiritual reason for it? Wow, wouldn’t that be a relief?
Stick with me now because this is really about being a happier Earthling. I’m going straight back into what you can do about being fat-single-broke, or your particular version of struggle.
Let’s start with this: A spiritual life is expressed to its fullest in the spiritual realm, whereas an Earthling life can only be experienced in a body of some sort with all its attendant limitations.
Unless you’re a rock. Which brings me to my next point, because you’re not a rock.
Being an Earthling is a Set-Up
Long, long ago, long before you were born, your soul decided to take a vacation from all that spiritual stuff. So it thought for awhile, studied a few things, and got some advice from elders. It chose the lessons it wants to learn, or learn better. It looked around at all the choices, thought about an Earthly life, and… ah-ha! Found the right family for learning those lessons.
You guessed it. Your soul chose your family — your parents and siblings, cousins and all the rest of them — because this family gives you the right foundation for experiencing the kind of life you chose — for learning the lessons you picked out about being fat-single-broke.
So while you might say that ‘you are the way you are’ is because your parents ‘are the way they are,’ you’re not giving yourself enough credit.
You very wisely chose your challenges and here you are, so now what are you going to do about it? You could continue to whine about how it’s all someone else’s fault. You could whine about not getting what you want. But where has that gotten you?
Or you could move on and think about what you do want.
That’s where your true power comes into play.
Imagine, just for a moment, that you could have or do what you want; except that you might ask that it come to you in the most positive way because sometimes getting what we ask for doesn’t turn out well.
For example, you might ask for a better love life. That’s a heartfelt request. A good one, right?
Sigh, there are many kinds of love. Which one do you want?
Wait a minute, did you just flip back in time to a past love, one that didn’t work out? Uh oh. Not a good idea. What you think deeply about is what you’ll likely get, so thinking about a past love that didn’t work out may only bring you more of the same.
Or it could work out that your neighbor’s dog falls in love with you. That’s unconditional love, right?
Or the barista could be in love with you, but you wouldn’t know because you never noticed the barista beyond placing your order in a hurried, impatient way. Which, of course, makes me wonder why the barista would fall in love with someone too impatient to notice the loveliness of the barista’s voice or unusual eye color. So, again,
What kind of love do you want?
An even better question is,
What kind of life do you want?
The Fork in the Road
Even though your soul chose for you to experience being fat-single-broke or your version of struggle, and although it might not be your fault that you’re fat-single-broke, it doesn’t mean that you have no choices in your future.
Your soul made provision in your life’s itinerary for just such a thing as choosing something different.
Imagine that you’re at a fork in the road. Perhaps it’s a country road, or a trail in the woods, a path in the park, or something as simple as going left or right at the next traffic light.
Imagine that the left fork has all the single-fat-broke that you can take in one lifetime. Yep, the left fork is full of “been there, done that.” Time for a change, right?
Now imagine taking the right fork, the one full of new experiences, wonderful surprises. Think ahead, envisioning how you’ll feel. Will you be happy, joyful, energized? Will your new experience be filled with hope?
You get to choose whether to take either the left “been there, done that” fork or the right fork full of wonderful new experiences.
Imagine a bright future of “wonderful new experiences filled with hope.” Is that what you want?
Now that you know it might not be your fault, what can you do about it?
It’s time to take some positive action. Be proactive! Jot down a list of wonderful new experiences you’d like to have. Your list can be short or long. It’s best to leave names out of it.
Let your imagination run free — wild and wacky.
Hey, you might even throw in some tacky ones, too! Have some fun with it.
Next, write some affirmations about them. An affirmation is simply a statement said with strong confidence about a perceived truth. In other words, an affirmation is simply something you strongly want to believe is true.
Good Tip: When you jot down your “want list” and your affirmations — when you dream your dreams — leave particular persons, jobs, places, etc., out of it. For example, you might imagine a romantic relationship with SoAndSo, get it, and find out that SoAndSo isn’t as likable as you thought. Ditto for the job.
There is an easy art to writing affirmations. For some good, workable ideas about crafting your affirmations, check this article Creating Effective Affirmations on EPIC Magazine or Why Money Affirmations Don’t Seem to Work on Medium.com.
Then do what everyone else has done. Write your affirmations on sticky notes and post them everywhere. Read them out loud every chance you get.
Imagine yourself believing them. Imagine what it feels like. You can easily imagine yourself feeling that way.
There’s more to having your affirmations come true than just stating them over and over. For example, saying them out loud with lots of hopeful emotion boosts your possibilities to the next up-level.
And be wary of the thoughts you’re thinking when you read your affirmations.
Be really nice to yourself. Finding the opposite and believing it’s true is essential. When you make a mistake, don’t say “I’m so dumb,” say the opposite of that. Instead of, “I’m too fat to attract a good partner,” say something like, “I am such a good catch that anyone would be lucky to have me for a partner.”
Remember the old adage, Fake it til you make it? That’s essential in making your dreams come true. Make believe it’s true and play act it like you did when you were a kid. Use your imagination. It’s your best tool because you can imagine anything. There are no boundaries to imagination!
If you find yourself thinking how something can’t be possible, reverse it! Leave plenty of space for your imagination to create something new and wonderful for you.
What else can you do?
Struggles are tough. It’s like slogging through a heavy storm. Can’t see, can’t hear. You keep running into stuff. Seems like it’ll never end!
It’s ok to get some help. There are many different counseling methods that work. Choose someone you like and trust to help you find your way. Being a hypnotherapist myself, I can honestly say that hypnosis is a good method to help you with your struggle.
Remember that happiness is the journey itself.
Happiness is part of the process of getting from here to there. It isn’t something you find at the end of a destination, like finding a ring in a box. It’s ok to be happy while you’re looking for that special something, right? It’s ok to be happy for no reason at all. Smile!
Imagine yourself becoming happier, more satisfied, as you journey through to the other side of your struggle to being happy and pleased.
Imagine liking your life. Seems kind of hard at first, but once you get the knack of it, you’ll be thinking happier thoughts quite often! Which leads to less struggle, which leads to more happiness, which leads to…
Being happy with your new and improved life, whatever it may look like.
Now, ask yourself, How can this get better? And let the Universe and your subconscious mind figure out how to make it get better.
You’re an adventurous explorer discovering your unique mystic sage
You’ve been wondering how you can express yourself more authentically, how to be the person you really are.
It’s likely that you’ve been searching for your true identity for most of your life.
You’ve been buried beneath obligations and expectations.
The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are. — C. G. Jung
If you’ve been restless, feeling the need for an exciting, challenging vision quest, please follow your intuition to check out my revamped workshops and programs designed to help you manifest more peace, love, and inspiration in your life.
Peg McMahan, HHP, CHT, LMT
~ The art of transforming reality simply by shifting perception. What if you decide to reclaim your life? Fire up your passion? Explore the far reaches of your soul? Live a mystical magical life? Anything could be possible!
BTW: If transformation was easy to do by yourself, you’d be done by now.
✵ Holistic Health Practitioner ✵ Life Purpose Coach ✵ Reiki Master ✵ Intuitive ✵ Spirit Medium