How to be self-confident even if you have low self-esteem
My dear friend, I hear you’ve been beating up on yourself mentally and emotionally. Sorta like this…
Your work friend says, “That’s a pretty blouse and it looks so good on you!”
But do you feel pretty? No! You feel like the Ugly Duckling, paddling circles in a pond of fractured uncertainty.
Your good friend says, “You look beautiful in that dress. Just wait til our friends see you wearing it at the party! You are going to the party, right?”
But do you feel like the prettiest girl at the party? No! You feel like a dusty Cinderella back when she was cleaning up the crud her mean stepsisters left behind, long before the Fairy Godmother came along with her magical wand.
Sometimes you think, “What’s the use? It’s never going to happen for me. I’ll never be good enough.”
It’s worse!
You feel worthless. Like nothing good ever happens for you. And nothing good will ever happen because you’re so worthless.
You’re certainly tired of feeling worthless.
You don’t know what to do about it, and your low self-esteem stops you whenever you come up with a do-able idea.
It’s a vicious cycle.
In fact, your good friends and family talk to you about it all the time, telling you what a great person you are. But do you believe them? No!
Or worse, people keep telling you how worthless you are. And do you believe them? Yes!
What’s up with that?
You’ve been poisoning yourself with trash talk
For years. And you’ve been repeating those same ol’ mean things ad nauseum.
Anyway, it’s like you have this recording running through the back of your mind, telling you all the different ways you’re gonna mess it up, that you’re gonna fail, no matter how hard you try.
Sure you’re gonna mess up and yep, you’re gonna fail sometimes, too.
But here’s what’s important: The one most valuable thing you can do is believe in yourself regardless of anything else. Everything comes after that.
How do you do that? How do you change the way you think about yourself?
What can you do for yourself? What if I told you that it’s relatively simple? Maybe not easy, but it can be simple.
Two simple ways to show self-confidence even if you don’t have it
1. Act like you do.
Fake it. Act like you’re filled with self-confidence. Act like you’re not afraid. Raise your chin and look the world straight in the eye. I do this every time I walk out on the stage.
Act like you really are the person your little ones looked up to. You know, back in the days before they started having opinions, when you were all-knowing and all-seeing, lol.
Try this: Act like a favorite fictional character. Remember that movie or book character that you admire so much? Act like that. Walk like that. Talk like that (well, maybe not exactly like that).
Pretend to be like First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt. (That woman got stuff done!)
Act like you own the floor you walk on, the room you enter.
2. Trash in… trash out. What’s yours?
Think about this: What kinds of movies do you watch? What kinds of books do you read? Are they fun, with happy endings? Or bleak? Depressing? Do they sound like a “cry in your beer” kind of song?
I just read — for a second time — a series with a great story line and realized that very little good happens in every one of the books! There are few happy situations, and the books don’t finish with a happy ending. No wonder I was feeling so depressed! And down in the dumps, and sad, and lonely, like nothing was ever gonna go right… Arrgh!
Tip: What goes in is what comes out. Are you putting good quality in?
The moral of this is to be mindful about what goes into your head because that’s what clatters like marbles rolling around in the back of your mind.
Your simple way to self-confidence in a nutshell:
This is a lot to think about. What could make it easier? Your attitude.
Read this happy tale of a ruined game
A long time ago my co-worker told me a short story that really made an impact on what color lenses I view my life through. He said:
“I was golfing with a small group of friends and we were watching some storm clouds in the distance getting closer. Most of us were grumbling about having our game ruined, but this one guy stood there, gazing at those heavy gray clouds, and said, “That’s great! The grass can really use some rain!”
My co-worker, whom I respected, talked about how impressed he was with this guy’s positive attitude. The way he said it — the tone of his voice — showed how impressed he really felt, so I believed him.
I remember thinking, “Wow, I want to be like that guy.”
Do you want to be like that guy, too? Well, yeah! That guy was a happy man. We want to be happy, too!
Want a shortcut?
You’ve heard me say this before:
You get to choose how you want to be,
who you want to be, what you want to be.
Remember this: The more you think about something, the more likely it is to happen.
The more you act like you’re filled with self-confidence - the more you practice self-confidence - means you are growing real self-confidence.
Thinking about yourself as a courageous person who speaks up and gets things done might take some practice, but believe me, you are certainly worth the effort.
Keep practicing. I did. I do. And it’s still working.
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Now, ask yourself, How can my life get better? And let the Universe and your subconscious mind figure out how to make it get better.
You’re an adventurous explorer discovering your unique mystic sage
You’ve been wondering how you can express yourself more authentically, how to be the person you really are.
It’s likely that you’ve been searching for your true identity for most of your life.
You’ve been buried beneath obligations and expectations.
The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are. — C. G. Jung
If you’ve been restless, feeling the need for an exciting, challenging vision quest, please follow your intuition to check out my revamped workshops and programs designed to help you manifest more peace, love, and inspiration in your life.
Hugs,
Peg McMahan, HHP, CHT, LMT
~ The art of transforming reality simply by shifting perception. What if you decide to reclaim your life? Fire up your passion? Explore the far reaches of your soul? Live a mystical magical life? Anything could be possible!
BTW: If transformation was easy to do by yourself, you’d be done by now.
✵ Holistic Health Practitioner ✵ Life Purpose Coach ✵ Reiki Master ✵ Intuitive ✵ Spirit Medium
